I have struggled with the question "Who am I?" for a number of years. I've toyed with the idea in my writing numerous times. Was I just a mother? Or a scholar? A writer? A western woman? A country woman? All of the above and then some? And where did this sense of identity originate from?
These are questions we all face, but as a student of writing I've been taught that reflection--the constant examination of one's interior self--is an essential ingredient in good writing and personal growth. Readers want to know the person they are reading about, and if you don't know yourself then how will your readers know you? Besides, change and growth are dramatic and fascinating--the stuff of stories.
To say that examining my life in this way was sometimes uncomfortable would be an understatement. For example, as a kid I adored Westerns--Bonanza, Gunsmoke, Grizzly Adams. I sat slack-jawed on the floor, crisscross applesauce, in front of the television absorbing all that maleness for years. Those men on the television screen affected me. Today I am married to a big man who--no kidding--resembles Grizzly Adams.
Other times this practice of reflection brought me great joy and a sense of belonging, like the weekend I spent in Sun Valley at a writing retreat titled "Women Writing the West." Gretel Ehrlich,one of my literary heroes, was to be a featured speaker. At that conference, among those women, I found a kinship I had never known before. A warm glow of acceptance and shared experience that is difficult to put into words...
Like I said, identity is tough. And rather than talk your ear off, I thought I'd share a few experiments in writing and speaking that I've created to explore my identity. The links below will take you to a website and video that will give you a good idea of who I am. Remember, reflection is good for the soul and the page. Who are you?
http://www.dipity.com/chelleg/Im-Your-Huckleberry/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNJbK5PoijE
Under a Cloudy Idaho Sky, Jan 2015
